Walk of Shame

4 miles on treadmill

I did not feel like going to the gym today and didn't feel like running in the freezing rain, either. But tomorrow  work all day and won't have time to get a run in so it had to happen. The four miles were fine, not good, not bad, just neutral. Huh, maybe this whole equanimity thing makes sense. Anyway, I've started my training plan for the half marathon in May. It's from Runner's World. I've tried several different training plans and wanted to try a new one this time. I never follow them exactly but it serves as an outline. Lucky me, I have a super fast runner and smarty pants to consult any time I have a question.

The fact that the census survey taker was coming back one last time to talk with Adam this morning really got me out the door. Lucky us, we were one of 20,000 Americans selected for a census survey from the CDC. The man giving the survey has been showing up at our door every other day for the past few weeks and finally we stopped procrastinating and did it two weeks ago. I did the survey and long story short, he had to come back and administer it to Adam. That would be today.

There were so many meatheads at the gym this morning. It's so funny to watch them working out. It helps the time pass by watching them.

Jack had his 15 month well visit with the doctor this afternoon. Everything looks good, he's developing normally. Ahead with motor skills but behind with language. Typical for a boy she said. It's nice having things calm down health wise with him after the event of last year. The bummer today was he had to get his immunizations. Every time he needs to get them, I feel awful. I feel like I made the wrong decision by allowing him to get all these shots. I know some are necessary, but are they all? He gets all the recommended ones by his pediatrician. The office he goes to is a well known and well respected office and I completely trust them-  I even went there as a child. It just makes me nervous that he will have a reaction or long term damage. Every time he gets shots he's usually a little off after, a little clingy and a little cranky.

We decided to go to PetSmart to look at the nasty gerbils and rats to cheer him up. He loved them. Since we were in the area and hungry, went to Three Tomatoes to get some dinner. The hostess sat us in a booth in the back- away from other diners. Exactly where you'd want to seat a couple with a toddler. At first he was fine, and then nothing satisfied him. He wasn't screaming, but was definitely vocal. He had milk, it calmed him down for a minute. I pulled out my iPhone. I had an emergency episode of Caillou on it. To say that he is obsessed with Caillou is an understatement. He adores that little bald four-year-old. OMG it's gone! The episode is gone. It was there yesterday. I updated my phone last night on my computer and whenever I try to do that, something goes wrong. There is always some sort of error. I search my phone "Caillou" but the only thing that comes up is an old text message from my friend Cate asking why Caillou is bald. Ugh. This isn't going well. We ask for our pizza to go and I down my beer. We walk out of the restaurant with our heads hung. I think  heard clapping after we left.

Just Be

75 Minute Power Yoga
6.5 mile run outside

I was debating whether or not to go to yoga this morning, but I'm glad I did. The class was great and I always find it so interesting because the teacher starts with a mantra and a hand gesture and offers something to think about throughout the practice. Today she spoke about equanimity. Releasing the good and bad attachments we have to things in our life and creating a sort of neutrality. It can be as simple as yoga poses, some you like and some you don't. Can you release the good and bad attachment and just be? Relating it to life, thinking about "good" and "bad" experiences. Getting through the bad to get to the good. Can you just be here? I don't know if I can. I feel like we need the positive and negative attachments in our lives. We need the negative to experience and appreciate the positive.

I thought about this topic throughout the practice and I came to the conclusion that I have no conclusion. My inner dialogue is going nonstop and I have to say, it often disagrees with itself. One definite BAD attachment to an experience today was during yoga when I got kicked in the face by the women in front of me- twice. The class gets pretty crowded, so I get there early, put down my mat and then bring Jack to the playspace. I came back to find a woman plopped right in front of me. A crowded class usually works well when mats are staggered, but hey, I'm trying to be positive so I didn't say anything. Moving from downward dog to one-legged downward dog to warrior I got a kick right to the forehead. I asked her to move her mat forward (she was in the front row so she had more than enough room) and nothing happened. I don't remember the transition when the next kick happened- but this time it was right to my chin. I didn't ask her to move her mat this time- I told her.

I waited a few hours before going for a run. I left from my mom's a. because she was going to watch Jack and b. because there are plenty of neighborhoods to run through where I can run in the street and not have to worry about plowed sidewalks. I headed down Spear Street, up Pinnacle and to the golf course and back. I felt really good and felt strong. My legs and feet have been feeling a little tired lately and during the run they were feeling a little sore. I'm trying to learn what levels of discomfort are okay to push through. I used to stop or give up whenever I was sore or tired. I'm slowly learning that these are okay feelings. A little discomfort is normal. Having Jack has changed my threshold. When I'm having a tough run, I just tell myself, you went through almost 24 hours of labor. You can suck it up and run for an hour or two.

I completely enjoyed my run today. The first 15 minutes are always the hardest for me. Once I settled into a rhythm I was able to relax and just be present in the run. I wasn't constantly looking at my watch, changing my iPod to the next song.. I was content.

I've been thinking a lot about 26.2 lately. I'm wondering if I have it in me to train for a full and have the mental capacity to race a full. I'd really love to complete one within the next year. I'll keep you posted.

I'll leave you with our family picture from Christmas. Notice Adam's ridiculous moustache. And my lovely face.

Damn Uggs

Recently my feet have been pretty sore.  I experienced plantar fasciitis a couple years ago and  can feel it coming back. I couldn't understand why, though, because I have been doing everything to prevent it. Strengthening and stretching my feet, rolling my feet on a golf ball, gradually increasing mileage, etc. Nothing was helping. Today a light bulb went off- my Uggs. Probably one of the most least supportive shoes out there, right behind the flip-flop. Flip-flops were the culprit of plantar fasciitis 2008. All winter I've been wearing my Uggs out of convenience and it needs to stop today.

Super Saturday (couldn't think of anything better-if I do I'll change it)

Workout today:
Taught yoga
30 minute elliptical

I had every intention of hopping on the treadmill after yoga and logging a few miles. This was until I realized that there is no way I can run in just a yoga top sans jog bra. There's no way I would subject myself or any of my fellow gym-goers to that. I used to love the elliptical, could stay on it for hours on end, but lately it just doesn't do it for me.

I spent the thirty minutes reading a lame parenting magazine. I need to quit these mags, in all their preachiness, telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing. The first few months of Jack's life I religiously read all things parent and baby related. I just ended up with too much information, and often times, contradicting information. I was in a constant state of panic, standing over him in his crib, making sure he was breathing and analyzing every strange noise he would make. "Babies make strange noises when they sleep." "If your baby makes a strange noise while he's sleeping you must call the doctor." How was I supposed to know what to do with my new baby??? Oh my, I drove myself crazy. It took me a little while, but I realized I needed to go with my gut and that all babies are different. This might be why babies don't come with an instruction manual. There are no "rules." Well, I guess there are some, but those are mostly common sense issues. Which, if you've ever taken a trip toWal-mart, you will see that many parents have zero common sense... but that's a whole other issue. If there's ever a problem, in the past 15 months I've found the best solution is to call the doctor. Who cares if it's 2 am? That's what on-call is for.

Lesson: stick to Us Weekly or InTouch on said elliptical.

Rah Rah

For some reason, some strange alignment of the stars, I was having a rocking day. I woke up and just felt light. I felt as if I had nothing weighing on my shoulders (although I should, I had tons of work I could get done). With a looming storm I knew we would be hunkering down for the day.

Jack and I had coffee and breakfast, watched a little of the Today show and a little Caillou, too. We packed up and headed to the gym- I wanted to get a few miles in and still be home before the storm was at it's peak (it's pretty convenient living .5 miles from the gym).

I ran four miles on the treadmill, and for some reason, I didn't detest it. I read a couple blogs this morning and had been thinking about positivity. One was from Hungry Runner Girl and the other was my friend Melissa's. Ultimately, the theme was positive thinking. The power of positive thinking- and negative thinking. It's amazing how destructive negative thoughts can be physically, emotionally and spiritually. It got me thinking. Why do I feel the need to be negative? Negative about myself and others. It isn't productive in the least bit. Doesn't solve anything. Negativity breeds negativity- it snowballs. I am thinking now that positivity must breed positivity. I must be happy for myself and others. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and am proud of where I am today, but there are always those thoughts that I'm not good enough, I can't do that, that will never happen to me. If I change my thinking to, I can do this if I work for it, I will succeed if I push myself, what might happen?

I hopped on the treadmill in a complete state of bliss. I had a rocking playlist set to go but I ended up listening to Cee Lo's "F*** You" and Kanye West's "Good Life" on repeat. My legs felt strong and my feet were feeling good, too. Even though I was on the treadmill, it was one of those days, you know, where you feel like you could just run and run. And I couldn't stop smiling.

And I had this little nugget in my brain:

Side note, after I ran, I stretched, did some abs and planned on doing some weights. There is the guy, I don't really know him, but I he used to frequent the restaurant I waited tables and he thinks he knows me. I was on my positivity high, I know, but honestly sometimes when I'm working out, I really just want to do my own thing. I only had about 20 minutes to get some upper body work in before I was going to get Jack out of the playspace. I was in the ab room, trying to do my thing, and I saw him come in. I pretended like I didn't see him. Obviously didn't work because I could see him staring at me in the mirror. Moved the the other room (gym floor is essentially broken into three rooms- treadmills/ circuit machines, small ab room, and free weights) and he followed me there. Moved to room number three and he followed me there, too. Ugh. I was not in the mood to chat with creepasaurus rex. I finally left to get Jack and as I'm in the lobby who happened to be leaving too? Huh, funny. I have no problem when a man is being friendly, but just plain creepy... come on.

I brought Jack home and left him with Adam so I could run to the grocery store since Adam would be going to work soon. I love Healthy Living! Completely obsessed. I ran into Melissa, who helped get my positivity ball rolling and it just made my day. She is an awesome runner, and an awesome person. She has come a long way in her running because of hard work and determination. I realized I am so lucky to have these amazing friends in my life who are so supportive. It helps having those around you share similar goals and being able to be each others' cheerleaders isn't too bad, either.

Just Jack

I love Jack. A lot.

That is all.

Goodnight.

A Long 5

I made a little fueling mistake yesterday. I got home from work at 2:30 so there was plenty of daylight left to get in a run before I had to teach yoga at 6:00. I had eaten a bowl of oatmeal and a banana in the morning, so I needed a little something to fuel my run. In comes Klinger's roasted garlic and parmesan bread (left over from our super yummy steak salad dinner the night before- steak, mesclun greens, sunflower seeds, oranges, dried cranberries and grilled fennel). This would have been the perfect time to pop a Gu, but without any in the house, I ate two slices of said bread. Although the bread is delicious, it's not so great when you're burping it up along a five mile run.

I pushed Jack in the jogger and we essentially did the same route as on Sunday- through the golf course- but I did shorten it a little bit. I couldn't bear any more hills.

By the way, have I mentioned that I am obsessed with our jogger? It's a Chariot Cougar. It's sold as just a chassis and by changing out the front it can be a jogger, bike trailer, stroller or cross country ski sled. This thing rocks!

What Not To Do

I think I will start a new segment: What Not To Do

I make mistakes so you don't have to.

Do not eat two slices of Klinger's roasted garlic and parmesan bread before going for a run.

Brrr

I'm a day behind on my posts.. but you don't care, do you?

Yesterday beat me up! I started off the day by subbing two senior classes at the gym. Just because these folks are over 65 doesn't mean they aren't hardcore. Many of them in attendance work out for a couple hours a day, every day. The first class is a strength class, an hour of weights, lunges, squats and anything else to build strength and stamina. The first time I taught this class I went too easy on them, and they weren't afraid to tell me. Now, I go all out. The second class was a pilates class. I have never taught a formal pilates class, but have taken many. I wish I had worked the class a little bit harder though, because my jelly belly isn't one bit sore today.

Next I went for a 3.6 mile run in the arctic that is Vermont. It was beyond freezing with the wind, but I had a great run. Averaged about 10 minute miles. I'm feeling pretty good about that considered the bikepath had a pretty good snow covering. My feet are starting to feel tense, and I can feel plantar fasciitis acting up again. I think it's time for new sneakers.

The afternoon was spent at the Upper Deck Pub with Adam and Jack. Switchback and calamari are great recovery foods, right?

That night I had to head back to the gym to sub a yoga class. Normally I would have gone all out, but the class was made up of some first timers so I took it easy. And I was spent.

I fell asleep on the couch at 9:00 and slept there until 10:30 when Adam forced me to go to bed.

"But I'm just resting my eyes!"

Sunday Funday

I have to say- this Sunday was pretty much near-perfect. The day started off with a Vinyasa style power yoga class. I love love love this Sunday morning class. The teacher is so creative and inspiring, the class is challenging and relaxing and love not knowing what is coming next. I don't want to copy her class, but I have to say I'm trying to model my class to hers.

The past few days with Jack have been beyond fun. It's as if he's grown up and matured just in the past week. I think being so sick last week took a lot out of him. He has just been up for anything. It's awesome!

In the afternoon, my friend Liz came over to do a "long run" with me and Jack in the jogger. I say "long run" because now that is 5-6 miles- not so long- but since I'm in the beginning weeks of my training plan for the half marathon in May, this is all I need now.

It was pretty cold yesterday, so it took a little convincing to get Liz to run outside with me. I finally bought an air pump and put air in the tires of the jogger. Needless to say, I'm so happy I did! The PSI was at 20 when it needed to be 65.

I bundled Jack up in long johns, sweats, snowsuit, boots, hat and mittens, snuggled him up in a blanket, too. The jogger has a wind shield so he stays pretty cozy. We set out through our neighborhood, up Dorset Street to Vermont National Golf Course, and through the housing developments and back to Dorset Street. The top of the hill at Dorset Street by Cairns was so icy! Thick, solid ice. We had to stop to a crawl, and both came close to falling several times. Once we got past that sections, the bike path was plowed well. Once in the neighborhood at the golf course, we had to run in the road because the green path's weren't plowed.

We ran a total of 5.6 miles. Kept a decent, steady pace. Nothing fast- I blame the jogger- ha. But, this was the most enjoyable run I have done in a long time. We chatted the whole time which made it go by so fast. Jack just hung out and enjoyed the scenery. He didn't complain once. Sometimes I get nervous about running with other people, because I get worried that I will be too slow for them, or that I won't be able to keep up. Yesterday's run was just relaxed and comfortable. I felt good, considering this is the longest run I've done since the Shelburne Half Marathon last fall.

We finished off the day with beers and burgers at Vermont Pub and Brewery. Does it get any better than that?!?

Heat Wave

Well, to start, I never made it out for my outside run on Wednesday. It was so windy, sidewalks still not plowed, etc etc etc... Excuses, excuses, excuses. I did get three wimpy treadmill miles in. Nothing to write home about.

Jack went to the playspace at the gym while I worked out. When I went to get him when I was finished, he was walking around with a toy lion and doing his signature growl. "He knows what a lion says!" the babysitter said. I agreed, I didn't want to tell her he truth- that he just likes to growl.

We had a heat wave today! 55 degrees! The day started out not-so interestingly enough.. Apparently we were selected for a health survey by the CDC. Exciting!

I went for a five mile run while Jack took a nap (Adam had not gotten up yet for he day- yep, he was still sleeping at 11 am). It was great! It wasn't exceptionally fast, and my feet were soaked within the first half mile because of all the puddles, but just the act of running outside was pure bliss.

Say Mama

I was helping Jack brush his teeth last night, and what do I see... He's cutting some teeth (he already has four on top, two on the bottom). Not just some teeth, but five teeth. Yes, FIVE. All four canines (it looks like he has fangs) and another on the bottom (dont know what that one is called).

Mama: "Jack, say Mama."
Jack: "Da!"
Mama: "Say "Mama!"
Jack: "Dada?!?"

Some day...

The temp is supposed to reach a scorching 34 degrees today. I only work a half day today, so a nice long run is planned for this afternoon. I think I might even break out the baby jogger.

Lovely Day

The 5 am wake-up call from the baby down the hall came early this morning. I could barely drag myself out of bed. I was feeling bad about how frustrated I was yesterday, but I have to remind myself to remember that motherhood is not easy. There will be hard times. My favorite time of the day is the time Jack and I have together in the morning. Me with my coffee and him with his milk, snuggled on the couch. This morning he reached over and put his arm around my neck and I remembered why we are on this crazy ride of parenthood.

I ran three miles this morning, and it was tough. I felt like I just couldn't get into a good rhythm, and the fact that the sidewalks still aren't plowed didn't help matters. Often I have a harder time with three miles, than with ten miles. With ten, you have time to settle in and get comfortable. But with three, I feel like as soon as I get into a groove, it's over. I don't think there is such thing as a bad run. Just the act of getting out the door and going for a run (or plod, in some cases), constitutes praise. It's easy not to run. It's easy not to be active. Anyone who actively makes the decision to get out the door deserves to be commended. There are good runs, and there are better runs, but they are all runs and they all bring me sanity, strength and stability.

On a side note, I had a great Valentine's Day! Because my husband is a chef and works nights, he made an awesome breakfast this morning. Cherry-chocolate O-Bread French toast with creme fraiche, blood oranges, fresh strawberry jam and a scoop of thin mint ice cream. Bacon, too. Can't forget the bacon.

I went to yoga this morning and ran five miles on the treadmill. I find running on the treadmill to be an entirely different experience than running outside. More controlled, less spontaneous, mostly monotonous, but sometimes it has to be done. They weren't my best five miles, but they were desperately needed. I've spent the last four days at home with a baby with a 104.5 fever and I needed some relief. Thank God for grandmothers. Especially when they live in the same town. Just say the word, she can be over in three minutes.

I love Jack more than I ever could have imagined I could. But, there are difficult days and today was one of them. His fever had been subsided for over 12 hours and he was clearly feeling better and more like his energetic self. The problem was, he still wanted the perks of being sick. Getting each and every need and want in a instant, and he was starting to play me. Oh, the toddler years.